"humans are naturally selfish and evil" factoid actually just statistical error. former united states president ronald w. reagan,

Spinning flatfish in these troubled times

I love butterfly rays because half of the images of them online come in two varieties and it’s

ALT

a) a baybey!

ALT

b) I know what you are.

Fuckin FLAT.

Happy flat fuck Friday to all who observe

the novelty of having pets really does never wear off i’ve had my cat for ten years and i still look at him strolling around like can you believe this. a cat. is everyone seeing this. he’s alive he has bones and all. unbelievable

Fuck. Those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. What the fuck do I do with this

you laugh. my flour is bereft of purpose and you mock me. hell upon you, fool

I wish I was taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish my cat had a phone I would call her.

just so you know

I've acquired a creature that stares at you no matter which direction you look at it from

I’m hypnotized 

plushies are among humanitys best and most innovative creations

this is what congress is discussing rn

i'll come out and just admit that i actually like leafeon's shiny (it just being a hue-shift doesn't really bother me since i like how warm the colors are,) but i would be okay w/ it having a more autumnal color pallette only if you also make glaceon's shiny raspberry ice colored. then they'd match the lesbian flag whenever they're together. :)

behold, my vision...

hire me for just whatever

[fills out a job application] i can do whatever and am good at anything, my biggest weakness is i love too much

some salads are amazing and then other salads feel like you're stuck in purgatory just eating leaves forever

the deep sea creatures when a scientist shows up with a flashlight outta no where